1 in 15,000

Today: 5W5D

TMI factor: **/5

So, yesterday (5W4D)  I called my RE's office as soon as I got up. I described the dull poking pains (they could hardly be described as painful, actually, but they were in a place that I didn't like) to the nurse, and she said that although Dr. H wasn't too concerned,  I should still come in so they could rule out ectopic pregnancy.

(I was so glad they said it and I didn't have to suggest it - I know it's important to advocate for yourself but I hate coming off like a Google-crazy backseat-driving patient.)

I went in, honestly not very worried. They did an ultrasound, looking first for a normal, intrauterine pregnancy, warning me that we wouldn't be able to detect much at 5 weeks 5 days. We saw the gestational sac (which for me was super exciting - although it was pretty much a black circle.) Then we swung over to the ovaries/fallopian tube area, and there was a little grainy - okay to be honest, I can never see what they see. The whole thing is a grainy gray mess no matter how hard I look. I could make out a wiry looking thing that was identified as my tube, but as for the abnormal growth they saw, I could not see it.

Dr. H still wasn't too concerned, but he did call Fetal Diagnostic down the hall and asked if they could squeeze me in that afternoon. He said they'd be able to see more because they had the "really good" ultrasound machines. So I went to the cafeteria, tried to choke down an ultra dry chicken sandwich, failed, ate some fries instead, and headed to FD.

The technician checked first for the normal stuff, and she found not only the gestational sac but the yolk sac and the baby and the heartbeat!! I felt this puff of excitement but she went right on over to the tubes, so I didn't get to see the good stuff again until later. She looked long and hard at what Dr. H had looked at, then told her intern to go get the doctor. (Yes, this was slightly alarming.) Dr. B entered, and started poking around, looked at the intrauterine sac and said "Oh, there's even a crown-rump measurement!" which thrilled me to no end because I've learned some things in my five years of frustrated lurking on mommy and mommy-wannabe message boards. Crown-rump means there's an actual, albeit jellybean-sized, baby in there.) Then of course she swung over to the fallopian tube and the fun was put on hold.

So if you're counting, so far there were the sonographer (ultrasound technician) plus her intern, and now Dr. B in the room. After frowning and muttering, Dr. B said she was going to get Dr. H (my regular RE) to show him what she saw. He came in with his intern. So now there were a total of five people looking at my uterus and fallopian tubes and I started to get a little concerned.

Fast forward to the end - though there was some disagreement on where the abnormality lay, they were both 80% sure that in addition to the perfect, healthy jellybean in utero, there was an ectopic pregnancy as well. This is called a heterotopic pregnancy and it happens maybe one in 15,000 pregnancies.

Let me just interrupt to say, we have never won a supermarket scratch-off game, never hit it even moderately big in Vegas, and usually are the big losers on game nights on Family Sundays. But we are the big winners when it comes to fertility complications. First we are picked to be the one in six (a general ratio of infertile to normal, fertile couples) and now - SOUND THE ALARMS AND GET THE ATTENDANT -  we are the one in 15,000 winner of a heterotopic pregnancy.

I know I sound really bitter right now but actually - I am just being cheeky. I do understand the risks (unlike a regular ectopic pregnancy, you can't take medicine to stop the growth of the tubal pregnancy in this case, because it would damage the normal baby, so surgery to remove it is the only option.) I do know how serious this could potentially be. But because they don't know for sure that it's an embryo implanted in there, we are going to recheck tomorrow and then again on Monday - recheck for growth/maintenance/diminishment, or whatever happens with these weird things. And what can I do till then ... panicking is not an option. Mulling over how unfair this is, also not an option. It isn't fair, but that's not important.

Important: Baby. Important: Not getting worked up over how IT'S ALWAYS US. Important: Not thinking about people or situations I can't stand. Important: Keeping people I love close to me and in the loop. Important: Scott and me.

I'm pregnant! With complications. It happens. It's in God's hands.

Will update tomorrow.

P.S. So, wishing for twins = a perfect example of be careful what you wish for. Although of course, I really hope it's not Jellybean's twin that is stuck in the tube and needs to be removed. I hope, I pray, that follow up scans show that it's just a weird clot that dissolves soon.